I sit down in my office to start working. This is me in "work" mode. Conference meetings (thanks Lockdown), emails and online research are all part of my job. A job that I really enjoy doing. It's afforded me a lot of really good stuff. Friendships, experiences, education, satisfaction.
So I'm listening to a podcast in the background while I work. Its Elizabeth Gilbert's Magic Lessons. I have been a fan for a while. You may know her from her book and subsequent movie with Julia Roberts, "Eat, Pray, Love". I have this book by my bedside.
In this particular podcast episode, she is talking to another fabulous female, Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed. Another amazing, life affirming book. If you haven't already, do yourself a favour. Read it. And in this chat, they are talking about how Glennon came to writing and creating her books and Liz is talking about the honest way in which Glennon writes and how it is so authentic and in turn, gives the people around her permissions to be truthful and as authentic as they can be too. And then she says,
"......somehow, in this culture, we have this misconception on that you're not allowed to create or produce anything, until you're already good at it"
This made me pause. Rewind. Play that back again.
"......somehow, in this culture, we have this misconception on that you're not allowed to create or produce anything, until you're already good at it".
There it is. The reason.
The reason I dip my toe in, and then whip it straight back out because the water's cold and unfamiliar.
The reason I feel in my soul this need to create - to make - to take photos, to paint, to draw, to make t-shirts. And yet....don't.
I do, but don't put it out there because who's going to look at it? Who's going to like it? But really, is it good enough? And I realised in that exact moment that Liz spoke those words, bugger that.
I like it. It's good enough for me. It's not perfect - but I'm no perfectionist. Never have. Never will be. I'm too impulsive. To reactionary to ever give myself enough time to be a perfectionist.
Instead, I'm going to continue to be a work in progress. To keep improving by putting it - whatever that it may be - into practice. I know what I can and I know what I can't do.
But I'm never going to stop trying.
Monday. A revelation.
Not a perfectionist.
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